First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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