Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
