You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We talked him into tasing himself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
