did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
