Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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