went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
