There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
