Life is so much better after having sex.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
