You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
