What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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