Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
