try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
