Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
