I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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