Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
