? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
