it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
