at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This house was built for laser tag.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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