wanna go halves on a baby?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize