Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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