The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
