her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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