Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
from now on my penis is your penis
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
