Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
