When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
