the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
