so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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