Soap is not a condiment
she woke up with a sticky ear
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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