But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
