I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
