I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
