Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
