oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize