im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Farmville is her only friend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
