is this the sara with the beer cane?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
