It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
