and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
