I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This house was built for laser tag.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
