it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
