i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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