you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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