I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
