I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
