WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
