We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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