I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
