she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
its not stalking. its research.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
