Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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