what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
