My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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