found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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