i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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