She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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