i think my mom watched the whole time
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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