i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
