my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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