Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
