fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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