We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you had me at cake vodka
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
