all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize