I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
