I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
